The baby peed on me! That's the sentence my husband heard last night as he came back into our room at 5:00am. He was trying to calm our 23 month old down after waking up from a nice sleep. "Bubba" as we like to call him just wouldn't go back to sleep. My husband gave him some juice, and as I picked him up I noticed he was shaking. I took him to the kitchen, gave him some apples and sat on the kitchen floor with him to have a picnic. Thankfully, after a few minutes, I noticed his shaking had subsided and he seemed much happier.

So as I quietly walked down the hall to put him back to bed he started to kick his legs and start to cry. I couldn't understand what was wrong. He had his juice. He had a snack. He seemed fine. So I put him in his bed and did what any mother who just wanted to get some sleep would do. (No I didn't close the door and go back to bed). I made a quick little bed for myself on the floor next to his bed and laid down. My goal was that he would see me "going to sleep" and he would lay down too.

Did it work? Yes. For about a minute. Then he began crying again, calling for daddy. My husband came in and told me the only thing we could do was to just let him cry.

WHAT? I can't do that. If I did that I'd feel like a horrible mother. But I knew that we had done everything we could at that point (so I thought), so I said good night to Bubba and went back to bed. After a few minutes my husband came back into the room. He said he had changed his diaper and noticed that it was on really tight. So I thought about it. The only thing I hadn't done was change his diaper. What is wrong with me? You would think after 3 kids that would be one of the first things I would do. But no. So who's the worst mother in the world? That's right, yours truly. At least that's how I felt.

As my husband got back into bed I laid there listening for Bubba's cries and there wasn't any. I was beating myself up over something that I should have done and didn't. I could have laid there all night (or what was left of it) and thought about how horrible I was, but I realized I can't do that. I need to learn that, even though I have 3 kids, I am still going to make mistakes. I am not going to have all the answers. The only thing I can do is remember what happened and learn from it. And also ask for help when I need it.

So here I am. Just a mom who wants the best for her children. And to maybe get a full nights sleep. Will it happen? Maybe...Have to go. The baby's crying.